The Life-Changing Power of Doing Difficult Things

If you want to get anywhere in life, you have to get out of your comfort zone.  A mediocre life is one where you never venture off the path of least resistance.  In the past few years of my life, I have embraced this wisdom and it is beginning to pay dividends.  I used to have a fear of public speaking, for example.  I dove headlong into this fear, putting myself in situations where I was forced to speak in public, and my fear of it has dissipated.  There have been a few avenues for this.  I was taking courses at school to upgrade my education.  These courses often required participation in seminars and lectures.  In my early adulthood, I was gripped by a mortal fear to make any kind of contribution in these types of settings.  What if I said something stupid?  What if my voice cracked?  What if people noticed how nervous I was?  This last one was interesting and convoluted:  I was nervous for people noticing my nervousness.  The solution?  Feel the fear and do it anyway.  My participation level increased gradually as I took more courses.  Eventually, the fear and nervousness disappeared and I could freely contribute to any discussion with valid input.  My confidence soared.  I become self-aware and aware of my own level of intelligence.  Consequently my marks shot up.  Where I used to be a C and B student, I was suddenly a straight A scholar.  Also, my professors came to know me and I gained a good reputation, ensuring the possibility of reference letters if I were ever to apply to grad school.  

Another way I overcame fear of public speaking was by joining Toastmasters.  Toastmasters is a public speaking club whose mission is to “provide a supportive and positive learning environment, empowering members to develop leadership and communication skills resulting in greater self confidence and personal growth.”  I have done many speeches since joining two years ago and taken on many rolls requiring speaking before the group.  This wasn’t easy at first, as you can imagine.  By confronting my hesitance to speak in public and tackling it head-on, my anxiety magically began to disappear.  I came to love the chance to get before an audience, inspire them, and motivate them with my words of wisdom and the unique point of view that we all possess.

David Goggins is an ex-Navy Seal who talks a lot about the value of suffering and how it  promotes growth and excellence.  He has run many ultra-marathons, been through Hell Week in Navy Seal training three times, and set world records in endurance feats.  He says that on other side of suffering is greatness.  I thoroughly believe that.  Doing difficult things can catapult you into the stratosphere of excellence and mastery. 

Do something difficult each and every day, something you’re afraid of.  It could be doing an intense workout, asking someone out for a date, writing a thousand words, or asking for a raise at work.  Wayne Gretzky once said, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  Take risks, sail out on the seas of self-discovery and lose sight of the shore. 

Doing difficult things ensures growth.  When we lift a heavy weight, for example, the muscle fibers break down and rebuild themselves, thus getting bigger and stronger.  A bone that fractures will be stronger at the point at which it has broken after it heals.  Often, it is the people who have been through the most difficulty who are the strongest, whether the hardship has been abuse, disease, or some other form of trauma or temporary defeat.   Some people cower and retreat in the face of difficulty, resigning to a life of mediocrity.  The point however, is to persevere and come back, over and over and over again.  By being tenacious and never giving up, you are ensured victory and success. 

Don’t accept your limitations either.  In fact, your weaknesses are a gift.  They demonstrate for you where you can become strong and empowered.  My shyness, for example, was a sign that I could become a gifted communicator.  Often, our setbacks and weaknesses are signs that we are meant to grow past them and teach others how to overcome them, thus empowering them and enriching their lives.  This requires soul-searching and introspection.  You have to be self-aware and know what areas of your life can be improved.  By identifying these weaknesses, you have found the path to freedom.   It won’t be easy however.  Discipline is required.  This is what doing hard things is all about.  It may require rising at the crack of dawn, ending an addiction, or losing weight.  Jocko Willink another ex-Navy Seal has a book entitled “Discipline Equals Freedom” that I highly recommend.  The title says it all:  by doing difficult things and embracing discipline in our lives, we welcome freedom and well-being into our existence.  So “embrace the suck” and take action.